Widowhood is not something we can prepare for…
It doesn’t come with its own set of instructions. Some are thrust into this group suddenly and others come by way of a long journey of watching their spouses suffer. Maybe from cancer, perhaps from diabetes, or another disease which takes their toll not just physically but mentally.
Grief looks different to everyone. In the beginning there are forms to be filled out, accounts to be taken care of and thank you notes to write. The friends you had as a couple call to check on you and offer their help. You feel well loved and needed, but then time begins to widen the gap. Suddenly your phone doesn’t ring as often. There aren’t those offering to help or even just talk. You are left with your own thoughts which turn to memories which often bring tears to your eyes when you least expect them. There is an emptiness which becomes your constant companion.
Life by yourself has become a new normal. And those friends you had as a couple who said they would call to check on you are now busy with their own lives. There was once “us”, where now there is only “me”. You feel needy and forgotten especially when financial matters begin to overwhelm.
“I am so thankful for the PCA Ministerial Relief Fund. They stepped in to help me financially when I had no place else to turn. The assistance I receive each month allows me to pay the bills, buy food, my medicine and heat my home. Were it not for this, I don’t know where I would be or what I would do.” — Widow